The Trouble Is…

FOOD

Chai Latte

Piece of chocolate cake (Vegan Express recipe, I highly recommend)

4 cookies throughout day (Coconut Lime, from Vive Le Vegan)

Homemade Falafel on Pita wrap with Tahini dressing, spring greens, living sprouts, and a side of tabouli and white arborio rice.

Decaf Chai Latte

EXERCISE

20 minutes on spin machine, Fat Burn program

About 60 total reps on weight machine, arms only

30 minutes of Morning Yoga, from YogaJournal.com

I feel shaky inside. Its weird. I was looking forward to this period, oddly. It would signal the end of the birth control I’ve been on for 6 months, Yaz, the one that has wreaked havoc on my life. I think I’ll be writing a post about that later, just so people are aware.

Looking forward to the period….that still isn’t here. Hm. Shoulda got it yesterday. But today is today, and I STILL don’t have it. This sucks.

In other news, Wade asked me to help him cook some dishes for a brunch his work was having, to be friendly to the vegetarians that work there. I helped him, he took the dishes in, and got the weird-treatment from everybody. Like, ‘Why did you BRING stuff? They ordered catering.’ So now he feels stupid for bringing food in, which irritates me, when he was trying to do something nice. And on top of that, his friend Mike told him the cornbread we brought in wasn’t good at all. Well, that was nice of you to say, how rude are you? Wade tasted it and said it tasted fine. Our theory is that Mike likes cornbread that tastes like potato bread that is more yellow and sweet. My version of cornbread is real Southern cornbread, the mealy, soaky-up-the-chili kind. Sigh. So much for being nice.

Can I just talk, for a minute, about how freaked I am at this summer semester? Really, because last semester I took 4 classes that were stretched from January to May. Now I’m taking 3 classes that go for 7 weeks, except one that goes for 10 weeks. Its a lot of work. I looked at the syllabus for AMH 2020, and I have to have about 50 pages read for each class meeting, which is on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I think Wade will need to clean the bathroom and find his own damn socks.

Not to mention LovetheMusic! So much stuff to post, so little time, for real! I have class every Tuesday and Thursday from 12-4pm, and then from 6-9pm. So I’m hoping that if in that two hour stretch in between I’m not asleep under a tree that I’ll be posting from school. Please God let their wireless network connection let me FTP some files. Please God. If there is a God, oh wait, there is, its called caffeine.

Today, I will attend my first wedding. My very first. I’ve been to two funerals, but no weddings.

Mike and Amanda are getting hitched. Wade works with Mike at Home Depot and I became friends with them through suction. By suction I mean the act of getting ’sucked into shit’. They’re really cool people, though, and I won’t let the fact that they’re going to Hawaii for their honeymoon really get under my skin.

The Spring semester ended about two weeks ago, and here on Monday starts a new one, with 3 new classes that have no relevance to my life at all. We’ll see how that goes.

I finally set out my gorgeous mousepad that I bought at Langerado. Its really good quality, too, perfect for optical mouses, like the one I have for my laptop, but never used before I finally found a gorgeous mousepad. Who wants a mousepad thats plain blue? Ugh. And it was only $10. By Katzinn, check her website for stuff to buy.

I’ve been on this Black Chai latte kick lately. I went into the Starbucks in the mall the other day while trying not to kill myself because Wade was ENJOYING shopping. Hell has frozen over, for the record. We stopped in there, I asked them what went into a Black Chai latte, as a friend had recommended it. I told him I usually got the Caramel Machiatto with soy. And then he asked me, “Well, do you want healthy, or unhealthy? And do you want lots of caffeine, or not much?”

I answered, “Healthy, and with lots of caffeine.” So he said the CHOY latte would be good. (CHOY is Starbucks’ employees thinking they’re being hilarious by combining soy and chai together, arf arf.) I got a big one, took a sip, and was hooked.

I walked with Wade into the Dillards, and then back into the far corner of the store where the Mens Department was. And let me tell you, that was scary. It had all kinds of faux wood paneling and weird displays, and salesmen that shouldn’t be driving to work because a.) they can’t see and b.) they probably forget where they’re going when they’re halfway there. This kind was a rattley old man, and I don’t mean the fun kind you talk to on the street in Nawlins. Like, this guy needed a good dose of medicinal weed and a Lazyboy.

But, I was taking this all in stride because I had a Venti cup of delicious that I was gurgling down. That was until the wood paneling and glass displays and fake ‘n’ bake old people kept being weird really started getting to me. Like, making me itch.

“Wade, this place makes me want to shoot myself in the face. Or someone else. But preferably me.”

He started cracking up. Like, laughing, ALOT. He goes, “Thats what WALMART does to me.”

And then I started laughing too, because we really are products of our upbringing. While my family shopped at Walmart when we moved to America and through my teenagerdom, his mother shopped at spit Department Stores spit! He would take her to one, leave her alone while she oohed and ahhed over ugly things that cost too much. That does explain why she thinks her wardrobe is chic when its really hideously weird and ugly. But it cost a lot of money, so she doesn’t care.

So Wade has always hated going to Walmart and I really, really hate and despise and loathe department stores. If I had to choose one that was mildly-balls tolerable it would be Sears, and thats because they don’t use sexy lighting to show off some shirts in plastic bags. And their employees don’t jump down my shirt when I walk in to make a commission because I’m young, so I must be stupid.

After we spent much too long in that store, we had to go to another one. You understand I only do this because I love him so very very much? And that even though I was having a mental temper tantrum that he could totally see on my face? He loves me, too.

The second store sucked just as hard, and this is when I told him that I was going back to Starbucks for another cup of crack. I walked in and the barista who made my previous cup smiled at me and said, “So did you like it, then?” And I loudly replied, “Yes, it was like crack. I want another.”

Sigh, its only AFTER I say things like that that I realize that saying it isn’t a good idea, but my brain never tells me that beforehand. And I kind of don’t care. The barista said thanks and my name as I walked out, which was nice.

This all brings me to the fact that about 30 minutes ago, while Wade was making our superman pancakes, that he instructed me not to say anything about any of his coworkers to anyone at the wedding tonight. “So I can’t meet Gary, and be like, ‘Oh, you’re that douchebag that Wade doesn’t like. Nice to meet ya.’” Wade laughs, and says no.

But then it occurred to me that, really, you can’t take me anywhere. Even when I was a kid I announced to my mother and her guests that, OMFG there was blood in the toilet, what could this be from? When she had explained periods to me about 6 months earlier, I didn’t connect the dots.

I just told Wade that basically I pretty much just can’t talk to anybody at the wedding because of my mouth. There was a long, dramatic pause and he replied, “Yeah, pretty much.”

Maybe thats why I’ve never made it to a wedding before?

So this guy has died. Edward Lorenz, pushed chaos theory. I always get more thoughtful over scholars’ deaths than I do over other peoples, like Richard Branson  (I know he’s not dead, but rich guy example is needed here).

Like, if i was cognitive when Einstein died, I probably would have cried.

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