The Trouble Is…

Yesterday when I got home from a very slow day at work it was about 3 o clock, and I had an hour until Wade came home and we headed over to my parents house. We do this every Sunday evening, to do our laundry and just to be with my family.

The kitchen was a mess, despite my attempts during my sickness to clean it, which I did. The glasses backed up and the dishes were piled everywhere, going nowhere because the dishwasher was full of clean dishes. So I spent an hour picking up the apartment, thoroughly scrubbing the kitchen, picking up dirty laundry, tying up the trash, and picking up tissues. By the time I was done it was only 3:30, and I had 30 minutes to kill before Wade got home. I felt guilty about sitting down.

While I was sitting I tried to examine why Wade had so seriously upset this week. From what I could tell, I was upset because he was whiny while he was sick. But why? Thats a weird reason to get upset. I can deal with people whining. I do it all day.

I figured out that it was unattractive. Seriously unattractive. Wade is a man’s man. A complete gentleman. He opens doors, fixes things, looks to-die-for in a toolbelt and boots, and a simple outfit of a white cotton t-shirt and blue jeans, with boots is enough to make me roll into a ball of horniness. He’s manly, and strong. He opens the pickle jars and does all the things I don’t want to, like remove bugs from the apartment and cleans the litterbox. He takes care of me. And this week he didn’t, which isn’t a first, but with all the whining, and the trying to whine, I was completely turned off. I never felt so turned off in my life. I didn’t even want to look at him, because he laid on the couch and tried to make his illness sound worse than it was, and I have no patience for such crap.

I find this all very interesting, because I would have thought it would take something entirely different to turn me off to such degree, but that did it.

We’re all better though. Last night I was making fun of me in front of my parents, calling him a wimp, a wuss, a pussy, etc, and he came right back, gave me dirty looks, and called me dirty names. And then he let me put my face in that little area of his neck and shoulders, where its always warm, and said he loved me. And then we laid on the couch together and he covered me with his body because I was cold.

Now, that’s love. And it’s sexy.

In March when I was sick I had some time to do some thinking about my life and my diet. Not so much emphasis on the former, more the combination of it with the latter. In December of 2006 my boyfriend and I decided to become vegan, which is a person who consumes no animal products whatsoever. That includes milk, eggs, cheese, animal fat, and anything else that comes from an animal. Including gelatin. And for the most part, honey.

For the first several months, we experienced great health. We lost weight, about 15 pounds each, effortlessly. We had more energy, clearer skin, we pooped more often, and we just felt cleaner. I felt like a million bucks. Then in December of 2007 I experienced some health problems. Well, not exactly ‘problems’, just random events that seemed to fuck me over. I had some strange combination of illnesses caused by the one before it; a sore throat, UTI, yeast infection (first for me!), period, then another infection. It sucked. I didn’t get laid for a month. Bad times.

I don’t remember the last time I was sick, but it was sometime after all that in December and sometime before now, so in January I’m assuming, I got sick again. I think I did. Anyways, when I got sick this past March, I felt really fed up. And of course, as soon as I said the words, “I feel like I’ve been sick a lot lately” to the wrong person at work, all I got in feedback was “Eat some meat. You need some protein.” If you’re vegan, you know how frustrating that can be.

Up until that time I had been smoking about a pack a day for 5 years. Ugh. I never thought that would ever happen, but thats the tricky part about cigarettes. They’re so delicious you forget why you ever wanted to quit to begin with. You repeat the words, “I’m going to quit, before it kills me”, but even as you mouth the words, they’re like empty little bubbles that float away from your mouth and pop in the first tree they pass by.

I also didn’t exercise. I worked 4 days a week, at a relatively active job (serving). But no strict exercise. This past time of being sick has changed some of that. I had an awful sore throat (which has happened before when I was sick, but it never stopped me from smoking before) and when I went to smoke a cigarette, it really hurt my throat. Also, I was sort of surprised with a small gift from God, or the cosmos, or nothing, as you see fit. I had a fever for 3 days and was in bed the entire time, so….there was no more nicotine in my system. When I finally recovered on Friday from becoming ill on Tuesday, I had no more nicotine in me. And surprisingly, I had no real mental desire to smoke either, probably because I hadn’t even thought about smoking the entire time. Cool, eh? So I went to work Friday night armed with the knowledge that I quit smoking. And I did. And I have. I even tried making myself smoke. How stupid is that? I tried, several times, smoking a cigarette. The only one I found to not hurt my throat was a Marlboro Light 100, and I’m a menthol smoker. So, I’m doing okay. And I haven’t bought cigarettes. Saving money is COOL.

So, here we have me: 160 lb, 69 luscious inches (I say that when I can, because one day, I ain’t gonna be luscious anymore, and I’ll probably be 68 inches, not 69), smoker of a pack a day, non-exerciser, vegan. Seemingly ill a lot recently. A lot of people seem to think that me being vegan is why I’m ill. I think not, for one simple reason. Wade. He’s a vegan, too, has a diet almost exactly like mine, and doesn’t get sick. Here’s the difference: He’s a non-smoker, and I’m a smoker (was).

Now I’ve quit smoking we’ll see how my immune system holds up. I do not want my veganism to be cause of illness in me, although it is a possibility, because I’m a woman and Wade is a obviously a man that he is just different from me. We’ll see. Onward the grand experiment: does being Vegan make you sicker? And will quitting smoking, eating healthier, and exercising make me feel better? Hypothesis: No to the first question and yes to the second, we’ll see how it goes.

Has anyone ever seen the movie ‘Dummy’? I don’t think you have, because if you had, you would have posted wild things on the internet telling the world not to watch it, because the actual dummy in it is so far past creepy it is absolutely ridiculous. I think I’m discovering a phobia of puppets. I never had a problem with Pinocchio.

And here we are, two weeks after being horribly sick, I am sick again. Well, now I’m getting over it. Wade got it this time, too. And it was all my fault, apparently, because I fucked up with the antibiotics. While I can remember conversations I had when I was 4, I am also terribly scatterbrained when it comes to some things, like taking pills. And taking care of myself in general.

I missed a day or two, or forgot to take one of the two pills required daily, and the sick came back and kicked my ass and Wade’s. And for the record, I think Wade proved to me unequivocally that women are asskickers and made for giving births and all things horrible and painful. He had the exact same thing I did, and what a WUSS!

“Oh, baby. I’m cooking. I’m so hot.”

“I think I’m dying. I hurt all over.”

Yet those words don’t explain to you what his face looked like the whole time. Granted, it was pale and pasty. But the puppy eyes. I thought I was being pitiful two weeks ago when I was sick, and to tell the truth, I was working it a little bit. Why not? You’re sick. But this guy was killing me. Wade, quit your day job and try Hollywood. Except don’t, because I don’t want to go to Hollywood. Okay, I’m glad we cleared that up.

Last Tuesday I quit smoking. On accident.

Last Tuesday I went to the beach with Wade, to Fort Desoto. Had a lovely time. The weather was magnificent, the water was a bit chilly but not too bad. I got a tan, which later turned into bit of a sunburn (forgot to reapply around the panties of my bathing suit, so I had a sunburn all around the edges of them.)

By the late afternoon I was complaining of a sore throat and Wade told me it was because of the salt and the sand and being at the beach in general, and to drink some water. On the way home I didn’t feel any better and a week later discovered that he made that up to pacify me. So I got sick. Sore throat, fever, really achy body, especially my lower back. Wade promptly took care of me, even though he wasn’t feeling well himself. I think he got the same thing, it just didn’t hit him as bad, because his immune system is better than mine.

So for 3 days I had a fever and all other stuff. On Thursday night we went to the doctor. Gave me some meds, yadda yadda. All better now. But because I didn’t smoke for 4 days, when I came out of my delerium, I decided not to to. A perfect opportunity. Nicotine is all out of my system, so why the hell not? It made things so much easier. Next time you get sick, if you smoke, quit. Its been a breeze, really, compared to the other times I quit. Shit, TRY to get sick.